“i like curvy girls” aka you like girls with flat stomachs and skinny legs but with huge boobs and a huge arse
god bless this post.
(Source: internetexplorers)
(Source: misses-inconspicuous)
you’re not allowed to wear a cotton t-shirt unless you’re a true fan! do you go to the fields and look at it? do you appreciate the agricultural implications of a gigantic cotton industry? do you understand the harvesting process? name 5 cotton harvesting machines. didn’t think so
(Source: rgfk)
- Everyone at my school's idea of a relationship: Someone asks someone "Will you go out with me?" and the other person says yes. They hug in the hallways, hold hands in the morning before the bell rings, and they kiss at lunch. They say "I love you" after two days. The whole school agrees that they are the cutest couple ever and hopes that they will last.
- My idea of a relationship: You start talking to each other and is in the "talking stage". One person asks you to go a date with them. You guys go a few more dates. You guys are dating. You guys act like a couple. You hug, you hold hands, you kiss. One person asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. You guys are now officially a couple. You're in one of those relationships where you don't announce it to the whole world but you won't deny it if someone asked. You guys are comfortable around each other, you hang out outside of school. You say "I love you" when the time is right and when you actually mean it. You have a threeway with Satan. You agree that all other mortals are no better than the mud caked to your collective shoes and sacrifice the whole of your school to the Dark Lord as per his request mid-coitus. You rule the charred and ruined remains of your homeland with an iron fist. Together <3
i wonder what horrible annoying song will be released and played 24/7 on the radio this year
(Source: ridingsheepinnewzealand)
I may not go down in history but I’ll go down on you
(Source: deargodidontfeelalive)
i once got kicked out of walmart for sitting in one of their lawn chairs for an extended period of time
one time I ate a bunch of puffy Cheetos and threw up in best buy and the stain is still there and they gave me a free computer.
wait what
who even
ice ice baby
how to seduce a man
- look into his eyes
- grab his waist
- whisper sensually in his ear, “ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli”
this is why tumbr has a hard time getting dates
(Source: greatgastly)
Speaking of being a dick.
the what fuck
this makes me angry
I hate you all
(Source: gl3ncoco-)
